we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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