you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
