So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
