her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
