she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
