She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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