how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
time to smoke my breakfast
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
