Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
