I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize