the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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