Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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