Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
