I think i peed on brittanys purse
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
