I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Girls should come with a carfax report
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
