How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
