I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
