i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
