Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
