At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
