I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Small penises have feelings too.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
