omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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