the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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