Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
