you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
