You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
