You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
