guys are only as good as the porn they watch
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I could fuck to npr.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
