Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
