On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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