If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
