I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I don't think brook has ever known best
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
