So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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