Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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