Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
