I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
