Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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