I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
