you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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