went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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