Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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