I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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