I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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