FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
