I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
