Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
