at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
