You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
