oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
