My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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