So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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