Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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