Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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