These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
