dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
