if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
