i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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