Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Come share oat with me in your robe
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
