You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
