You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
