The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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