If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I look better un-naked...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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