He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
